I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
