I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub