I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
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Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
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Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.