the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!