Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
