I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
