I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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