yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
