I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
