Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
