I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Randomize
