Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
My pussy is not your playground.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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