You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
