lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
