Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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