he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
