That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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