its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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