either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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