Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
