u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
