I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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