I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
