listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
