Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize