Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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