i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
