i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
