i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
