Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
