If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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