I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
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I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
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Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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