I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize