What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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