dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
