And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
