KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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