It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
