But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
