this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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