My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
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