DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
