watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
