so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
