If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
