Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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