Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize