Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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