I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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