Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
