Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
