My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
