I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
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I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
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One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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