Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
