I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
