return my video game
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize