Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
