he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
