Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
