i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
