On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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