Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You are a genius and a whore.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
