Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You pole danced in your parka.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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